does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
