If i come over, it means nothing
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
