You can't motorboat a personality
and i looked up. we had an audience...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
