Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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