literally had 100 drinks last night.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize