Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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