I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
