we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
