9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
