My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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