cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
