CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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