Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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