I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
