Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
