the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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