The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
