Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
