Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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