so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just puked most of my soul out..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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