And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize