Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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