I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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