Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
