i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
