physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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