By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
