I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
