I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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