Got a toothbrush?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The air was thick with penises
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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