either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
