You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
