I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize