I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
