Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
