just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
