Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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