I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
