my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize