i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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