i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
