you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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