In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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