I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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