i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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