weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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