Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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