I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize