If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
