I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
