Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
