Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There r osticjed everywhere
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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