Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
