Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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