Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
