so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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