Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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