We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
