yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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