What did we do last night that was yellow?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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