the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
