So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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