You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
