do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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