i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
God gave him joint rollers for hands
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I am available for nakedness
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
