he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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