Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm at about main and main street
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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