I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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