i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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