You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
