is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
