i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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