"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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