He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it was like eating out sand paper
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
